Uncertainty: There is Magic in the Unknown
A conversation between fear, curiosity, and what unfolds when we let go.
The world feels wildly uncertain right now. Politics, the economy, climate, wars—let’s just say it’s a hot mess. The response for many has been: Brace Yourself!
That word—uncertainty—had me revisit notes I had on the topic and conversations I’ve had with my bestie Ronii, teachings from my mentor Aleka, and a powerful quote from the TV show Queen Sugar that helped me understand times of uncertainty in a new way.
The truth I’m still mindfully integrating into my own life:
Uncertainty doesn’t have
to be scary.
But we’ve been conditioned to believe otherwise.
Allow me to share some of the wisdom I’ve gathered along the way in hopes it eases you in times of uncertainty.
🧠 Meet the Dick-Brain
My best friend Ronii and I have a nickname for that part of your brain that comes online when you step outside your comfort zone. We call it the dick-brain.
You know the headspace that thinks:
Oh boy, this is new.
I’m scared.
What’s about to happen here?
It’s not safe to put all my eggs in one basket.
Time to white knuckle.
Clutch your money.
Get small, stay safe, back up, get us out of here.
In psychology, this is known as the negative bias—the tendency to default to fear, worst-case scenarios, and control-seeking when faced with uncertainty.
Aleka once told me:
“Those with a strong dick-brain have probably evolved more—if you're able to scan the environment for what could go wrong, you’ve probably died less.”
That cracked me up. But it also landed.
As she would say, this part of your brain is built to protect you. It wants to bring you back to safety, to predictability, to certainty. It’s not evil. But it’s not always helpful either.
THE GOLD HERE: If we want to experience change, creativity, or magic—we have to learn to pause the dick-brain and let a different part of us lead.
📺 Queen Sugar
Have you seen the tv show Queen Sugar? In one of the episodes a character says something so profound I had to pause, rewind, and replay it so slowly I could write it all down.
"It's a confusing time for you, but it doesn't have to be a distressing time. You don't have to define yourself forever or anytime soon. Maybe you're putting too much stress on the question right now... maybe think of this time not as a question at all, but as a discovery."
"Continue to follow your feelings. Don’t lead or control your feelings—follow them and see where they take you. Don’t stress. Don’t plan. Don’t anticipate. That kind of clutter in your mind creates false results. Don’t force it."
“The story of you is new each day, unfolding for all of us, each day. That's the problem with this whole world, construct... half the time we're trying to fit into a definition we've given ourselves, or that others have given us.”
THE GOLD HERE: We’re rarely told: It’s okay to be confused. It’s okay to be “in-between. It’s ok to not know” That the unknown doesn’t have to be figured out. That this time can be for discovery.
🌊 Aleka's Teachings on Uncertainty
I am blessed beyond words to have my mentor Aleka Thorvalson. She one said:
“Uncertainty doesn’t equal danger. Confusion doesn’t equal distress. There’s nothing inherently wrong about not knowing.”
We’ve been taught—especially if we’ve experienced trauma—that uncertainty is unsafe. Our nervous system learned: If I don’t know what’s next, I’m not safe.
So the moment uncertainty arises, our brain tries to get us back to certainty as fast as possible. Cue the control freak. The planner. The over-analyzer. That part of us that whispers: "This is dangerous. Fix it. Solve it. Manage it."
Aleka offered a different mindset:
“Faith is the ability to take refuge in uncertainty.”
It sounds poetic. But living it? Terrifying. And yet... she took it a step further and invited me to get curious:
“Curiosity and fear can’t coexist.”
THE GOLD HERE: She said, if we become curious about this moment, the fear doesn’t grip us quite as tightly. She would say:
Uncertainty is where the magic lives.
It’s where synchronicity happens.
It’s the realm of creativity, of spontaneous insight, of grace.
Certainty
gives you the same results.
Uncertainty
is what gives you something new.
😬 Living in the Gap
Aleka calls it the Gap of Change—that liminal space between who you were and who you’re becoming. It’s the water between two shores where you can’t turn back and you can’t fully see the shore ahead.
She compared it to Life of Pi—adrift with your ego, your inner tiger, your dick-brain. Learning to coexist with fear without letting it drive the boat.
And when that fear whispers,
“What are you doing?”
“Why are you here?”
“What if nothing comes next?”
THE GOLD HERE: That’s the moment to answer back:
“Thank you, dick-brain. I see you. But I’m choosing to lean into the unknown right now. I’m here to discover, not control. I don’t need certainty—I need presence.”
✨ Faith as Unwritten
One of the most powerful things Aleka shared with me when it came to uncertainty was:
“Faith is just the unwritten. It’s the part you haven’t lived yet.”
Not blind optimism. Not toxic positivity.
Just the willingness to say:
“I don’t know how this will resolve. But I trust that it will.”
We can’t develop real faith in certainty. We develop it in the dark. In the in-between. In the silence between one door closing and another opening.
THE GOLD HERE: This is your opportunity for a leap of faith. Change to create new-ness. Synchronisities to align for you. The realization this is what change feels like and where the cool stuff happens.
In Conclusion:
If you catch yourself bracing in times of uncertainty—gripping tight to control, comfort, or a plan—I totally get it!
AND maybe, just maybe, nothing’s actually “wrong” or “unsafe.” Maybe this is the time to take a moment. Breathe, don’t hold your breathe. Check where you’re bracing: In your jaw, you neck, your shoulders, your back, your hands, your legs… just release…
Aleka would have us ask ourselves:
Isn’t it curious how uncomfortable this is?
Isn’t it interesting that I’m here again, at the edge of the unknown?
What might happen if I waited, watched, and followed instead of forced?
THE GOLD HERE: Let’s unlearn the limiting beliefs we have around uncertainty and playful get curious with it! I mean uncertainty is where the magic lives to create something new for ourselves! So get out of our comfort zone and bring something “better” into our lives.
Let’s Talk!
💬 I’d love to hear your thoughts! Drop a comment below and tell me—what resonated most with you?
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